Going on with purpose

First: Yes, still sore (will look into therapy this week after getting more of the insurance sorted).
Several people have asked how I’m doing psychologically; I think I’m okay considering everything that’s happened. I’m getting a little weary of talking about it (however, at least I can talk about it; that’s supposedly a good sign). It was a little difficult the other night here in my parent’s annual neighbourhood block party. I felt obliged to relate the story over and again; it’s just difficult to discuss what happened casually over a beer and roast pork. Also, people don’t quite know how to respond. The usual route is to relate either their own or another accident story. This is an attempt at empathy, which I appreciate; however, it doesn’t really do much to relieve the stress or trauma of my own situation. I mentioned this difficulty to a friend and she said, “You can always say you’d rather not talk about it.” This is a power I think I’ll need to invoke in the incoming weeks.

I’m sitting on the back deck; there is a deer strolling by about ten metres away.

I’m having a little difficulty sleeping; last night I had some Sleepytime tea and took Melatonin then slept straight through the night. The difficulty I had was just getting to sleep in the first place as I was—well, just thinking. A couple nights ago I was looking for support groups for this kind of accident (I’ve since learned it is called a “side underride” accident). There are apparently groups for victims families; however, there don’t seem to be any for victims—as they usually don’t survive.

I will be giving this a lot of thought; again, this is going to be a difficult thing to relate to people. Someone was asking me later in the week how my job search was going. I had to tell them that I’m not really thinking about that at the moment…I’ve got life to re-assess.

I already have a fairly wicked sense of humour—and an experience like this sort of gives one licence to step it up a notch; one of the BuildaBridge Institute participants e-mailed this to me last evening:

I am reminded of David Livingston’s words, “I am immortal until the will of God for my life is accomplished.” (Or something along those lines.) Clearly God is willing something more for you…

To which I responded:

That would have been a great statement to make right after the accident; if only I had know/thought of that at the time! When the truck driver came in underneath the trailer afterward to see about me…“Man! Oh, God! Are you all right?” I could have responded, “I am Immortal!...” Would have been great…probably would have completely freaked out everyone on the scene and they would have assumed I had a head injury, but great nonetheless.