Random Caffeine Induced Quotes

Was just in the coffee shop and overheard these two statements:
“Jesus Christ! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” If one changes that to a form of address rather than an expletive, it sounds like an request that God not be so covert when approaching as in, “I hope, the next time I have a Theophany, Jesus gives me some kind of warning before just appearing like that.”

“Have you seen The Count of Monte Cristo? I think it’s almost impossible to condense the work of Richard (sic.) Dumas into a movie.” The fellow saying this pronounced Dumas as ‘Dumb-ass’.